Control and Attachment

Leonard Mlodinow doesn't present a Buddhist perspective in "The Limits of Control," but as I read the short essay I couldn't help but apply one.

Very simply, Mlodinow writes that people are happier when they think they are in control of their lives and surroundings. "Studies suggest that, even in normal conditions, to be happy, humans must feel in control," he writes. Studies show subjects acting as if they were in control even when they obviously weren't.

We cling to a false sense of control to keep our spirits up and give us hope. But "control" is an illusion that can be snuffed out at any time. The flip side of the illusion of control is that it makes us more anxious when events don't bend to our wishes. It also causes us to blame ourselves. Speaking of money losses, Mlodinow writes,

Understanding my own need for control – and exactly why I cannot have it – I now take comfort in letting go of the illusion, and accepting that despite all my efforts and planning some aspects of my future are beyond my sphere of influence. That realization has given me permission not to kick myself for the losses I have incurred. That can be a liberating thought in trying times like these, or any times at all.

That realization has given me permission not to kick myself for the losses I have incurred. That can be a liberating thought in trying times like these, or any times at all. Nice.

Having to feel in control may be among our more stubborn attachments. I go through all manner of cycles of blaming myself for things, then trying to talk myself out of blaming myself, which ultimately doesn't work. Master Dogen said, "Those who have great realization of delusion are buddhas." I thank Leonard Mlodinow for the reminder.