From the article: Anger and Buddhism
Is anger a big barrier for you? How does anger impact your life, and how do you work with anger in your practice? Share Your Experiences
Great Responses!
- Flygirltwa, Kevin, Mori-(I haven't read all of them yet, because it's so much to take in), you have the basis for a great practice, Congratulations! I think we need more soldiers, more people who have had to struggle so hard like mori and flygirl and perhaps fewer smiley face nirvana junkies. JuBur, your top post concerns me. I'm a political junkie, forced back into that by the awful Bush years and that hard long campaign to end it, but at the end of the day I think we have just one flag to wave.
- —TFitz1017
Anger
- Much as I respect Tich Nhat Hanh, I too think that anger can be harmlessly discharged by directing it away from other living beings--shouting into the air, hitting a pillow, whatever. However, ideally anger energy should be turned into personal or political activism. This of course is not easy. It is sort of a ju jitsu move--take the bad energy and redirect it. I often think about the famous story of Hakuin and the samurai. He smiled in the face of the samurai's rage. But--who knows--perhaps the sage's first impulse was anger at the samurai, which was then promptly regenerated as a compassionate smile.
- —JuBuRs
Anger. Dead Ahead.
- The other day, I asked my wife what she thought about my intrest in learning and practicing Buddhism. She said that like all things I've ever had an intrest in, I'll obsess about it until someone pisses me off. She is so right. I tend to seek approval of others, which I've learned for me, is a form of greed. When I don't get the approval I was seeking, I get angry, feel hurt, rejected, and ruined. What I've also learned is that one needs to avoid situations that could give rise to anger. Water cooler discussions about current events or politics get your dander up? Don't go when the pundits are all standing there yakking it up! Obviously, we can't run around with blinders and our hands over our ears (La! La! La! - I'm not listening...), but we can make an effort to avoid scenarios that we know from experience feed the little beast in us. By changing some of our habits, we can break the "cause-and-ripple-effect" before it even starts.
- —midway199
I agree that anger is self-induced
- I used to get really angry by the noise caused by construction activities, especially when I am doing something important and I need to concentrate. However, after listening to a speaker, who share your beliefs, I started to question my anger. I asked myself, was the noise really that annoying, or did I choose to be be angry with the whole thing? The same speaker also mentioned that whatever you focus on expands. Hence I tried not to focus on the noise, but on my work instead. Strangely, the noise seem to decrease in volume till it became just some insignificant background sound. And I successfully finished my work. You may argue that it is all in my mind. Then again, isn't that the point?
- —Memento.Mori
Anger 101 and more
- I've spent my entire life being angry. I suppose one could call it Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. As a small child I was born into a family of anger, rage, depression and violence. Because of my anger, I have ruined some of the most important relationships in my life. I can at times have a mean spirit. At other times I am peaceful. I have learned that anger comes from real or imagined hurts, rejection, etc. The worst kind of anger for me, is the self hatred that I experience, when I allow my anger to take over my mind and body. The Buddhist way makes so much sense to me and I recognize that the Three Poisons are right on target. Anger distorts any positive outlook on life. Suicide is the result of a major temper tantrum which is anger turned against the self. For those of us who are ANGRY we have important lessons to learn. Hopefully we will not turn our angry against ourselves. It feels at times like the world is going to explode. May God help us all with this malady
- —FLYGIRLTWA
Always a challenge indeed.....
- For the past 19 years the military has trained me to channel my Anger to a single event that would produce an endstate not approved by any human being. My anger is what made me the best at what I do. But unbeknowst to me, I have been drowning in anger all these years and have never known peace of mind. The more I read about Buddhism, the more I want to learn because this IS the biggest issue in my life. And because of this, I have been in constant turmoil with myself and others. Opportunites were missed because of my anger issues as well as relationships. I have feed into my anger so many times to increase my focus not realizing that I am falling apart as a person. I didn't believe I would understand my anger until now. As I continue to serve in Iraq, I will continue to seek many of the teachings Buddhism offers so that I can understand more of letting go of my anger. Thank you. kevin
- —Guest kevin
Channeling the river of emotion
- I approach emotions as a river. The source of these rivers is often fundamental human instinct but they are given energy and direction by the Three Poisons. (Btw, I've never heard of anger being one of the Three, but rather as a by-product of attachment. I found that interesting to see here.) Rivers of emotion can also be intentionally channeled and their energy harnessed by mindfulness and entrusting in the The Jewels. More specifically, dealing with anger has been a life-long struggle for me. That river quickly flash-floods my thinking. I've learned to be mindful of that. First, I channel the current (in both senses of the word) anger momentum in harmless 'venting'. That diffuses the potential for damage and also holds it up separate from 'myself' to examine like Burroughs Naked Lunch metaphor. Then I'll take refuge in the Dharma by listening to the Amida Buddha's Light - asking which of the Three Poisons might be involved and examining lessons in the Right response.
- —Guest Todd
Anger = Hurt
- So if Anger is some thing that comes from us, and we can eliminate it, could we eliminate hurt too, due to the same reasons? Anger and Hurt are emotions, but personaly for me its easyer to understand and end my anger than to end my hurt because I think I have more reason and sometimes the right to feal hurt.
- —Guest Fox
another way
- Hi Barbara. Excellent article. It seems as though many people only know of two ways to deal with their anger: Stuffing it down (ignoring it), or externalizing it with some kind verbal or physical gesture. It is possible to fully experience anger, to let the energy run it's course in our bodies, without externalizing it and making it worse. As you said, mindfulness is the key. Confronting anger seems scary if we've never tried it. But, the more we allow ourselves to experience anger fully without resisting it, the easier it becomes to do so in the future.
- —awouldbehipster
What to do with anger
- Amen. Thank you, Barbara. I wonder, though, if Thich Nhat Hanh is totally right that the pop psychology response to anger--hitting pillows, etc.--actually feeds anger. It still seems to me that such diverting of anger into non-harmful actions can be useful. Nevertheless, I agree that meditating on your anger is the best first step. But what then? While there is no such thing as righteous anger, there is such a thing as a righteous response to injustice. Perhaps the chaotic energy that anger generates can be directly channeled into the (nonviolent) fight against exploitation and cruelty. Indeed, Theravada monks were in the streets of Rangoon not long ago to protest the brutal regime in Burma (the real name of the country, not Mayanmar, which is the regime's name for it). If anger is a ghost, perhaps it can be like Marley's ghost in Dickens, warning us not to follow him and pointing us in a better direction.
- —JuBuRs
anger
- It took me many years before I would face the fact that I hated everything. I seemed to be in a constant state of evil karma and my anger always got the better of me. I found a book written by Thubten Chodron called "Working with Anger" ,from Snow Lion Publishing that put me on the right path. Anger is the worst of the three evils. Once you get into the road of anger it is hard to find an off ramp. The longer you walk that road the harder it is to leave. I know that if I was able to find a way off of it then most anyone can if they have it in their hearts to do so. I still have bad days when my anger returns. I have found that meditating to the Medicine Buddha or saying the Heart Sutra puts me back on tract. Those are my points of anger management. With them I can always stay ahead of anger, and with it help others through the Medicine Buddha.
- —Guest tony bennett
Anger
- B. O'brien, I think that there is a constructive anger too. Buddhists are being led into a political vacuum of the false politics of inaction; much the opposite of a Tibetan Buddhist. I believe that those that have suffered so much deserve the right to experience some kind of satisfaction that all has not been in vain for them. That they are not going to lost thier Buddhism to the Buddhism of tomorrow. In Cambodia, there are 2 Buddha's: a fat Buddha and a skinny Buddha. How can a fat Buddha and a skinny Buddha be one?
- —Guest Karen M. Krueger - just looking around
always a challenge
- Anger will always be a challenge for me, because expressing anger was a normal behavior that was encouraged in my household as a child. I think it's important to acknowledge it, and I allow myself to experience it but I draw a hard line. The rule I have for myself is that I must address it in a healthy way and if I am having a hard time at that, I seek guidance from a friend who shares my same beliefs.
- —Guest FC
