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Readers Respond: Working With Anger in Buddhist Practice

Responses: 38

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From the article: Anger and Buddhism
Is anger a big barrier for you? How does anger impact your life, and how do you work with anger in your practice?

Pure Gold

Buddhism truly is pure gold, and perhaps useful in a different way when alloyed with modern materials. This article mentions being betrayed by someone close. This has happened to me a number of times. Do I pick cohorts that could potentially drag me down? Perhaps I do, but this does not stop me from getting angry when the people I've put my faith and trust in betray me with selfish irreverence. The advice here is certainly sound. Patience and understanding are the real keys to dealing with anger. For all you multi-faith folks, it reminds me of a verse in the Christian Bible that says something along the lines of, be angry and do not sin. It doesn't say not to be angry. It basically tells us not to do anything that would cause suffering or regret in our anger. Thank you for reminding me of what I should have already known to be true!
—Guest smilingface

comments

Hello Barbara, I am angry that you removed your readers' ability to comment where it really counts: http://buddhism.about.com/od/findingatempleandsangha/a/teacherfine.htm
—Guest Patricia Ivan

Thank you

I hope that what ever comes next will be as good as what has been. I can truly say I am indebted to you. Thank you.
—Guest Lars

New expectations.

It occurs to me that letting go of expectations that others will behave according to one's own code of ethics will release a lot of anger. Of course you should still protect yourself but let go of the need for the other people to change their ways. Much like a driver screaming at "bad" drivers every day, we must learn to drive (and live our lives) calmly but defensively and let go of futile rage...
—Guest Working on it....

Anger

If this place exists as wavelength-a reasonable hypothesis for a constant change universe-then all things can be considered wavelength. We are conscious of some wavelengths more than others. The ones we don't see well, like radiation, see more affecting because this "physical" system is made out of stuff we long ago (or now, if you wish) choose to not know. I can sitll get angry or frustrated, and when I do it always turns out that the anger is a symphathetic wavelength of unconscious identification. I look at it and generally the anger comes off. I get that this is a process I'm simply going to have to go through. It seems to me, likely, that no one ever does anything wrong. God can't err in a kingdom of self-creation. If we are viewpoints of God, then being wrong or evil is just a point of view. A decision to make, is, "do I want to understand?" One's reality will lie within what is understood. Stepping outside that reality allows one freedom to go anywhere.
—KevinJOsborne

Dealing

I am a long time Buddhist. I have had a long exposure to both a dysfunctional family and a Buddhist Master. And it is still no cake walk dealing with my family. I am going to try to delete some of my emotion in writing this post! My family member has taken to seeing a Mister on the side. She is married, visits me telling her supposed love one she will be enjoying me and my wife. But in reality is visiting as much as possible a long lost high school boyfriend. I recently tell my Brother of my anger over being used this way. He reacts by challenging me as not practicing Buddhism because I have not already cut out my anger. Now, I am angry at him! I trust him by confiding in him of my anger, and he betrays me, I think, by taking a cheap shot at me. I think these circumstances would bring anger and disgust to any healthy person. But then, my family is not that healthy. I will deal with this, but it is bullshit and anger... that all my Buddhist training did not prepare me for.
—Guest Long time

Anger

I find this article extremely helpful, and also that it seems to be fully educational, not based on misleading statements or half-truths. Me and my mother have been practising Buddhism, and it sometimes it seems so difficult to let go of negativity. My anger always causes rifts between me and my loved ones, pride being a very big problem for me. Thank you for having written something so useful, and sharing it with us.
—Guest Lau Siaw Ee

dealing wit anger

I am still a very young buddhist but i discover wwhen you conquer anger. you will be very peaceful.(Bliss) the feeling of blissfulness is very different from peacefulness. Its like u are in heaven.This kind of state no money on earth can buy.
—Guest Nyima

The Razor's edge

I'm going to be completely honest with myself, by saying that anger and impatience and pride which also feeds anger in the form of shame are my biggest defects. I'm a gnostic aspirant which has a TON to do with Buddhist ethics. I must say it's not easy to walk that razor's edge and keep my anger in check. I've started meditating on anger and realizing that everything passes, not easy to do, but helpful nonetheless. Avoiding situations that cause anger is easier said than done. I think what one has to also accept is that difficult situations which can cause anger may and often times do arise. It is up to me to decide if I will form an attachment to the anger ....or not.
—Guest Gina

Working with anger in Buddhist Practice

When I got clean from drugs a couple of decades ago, I suddenly realized whilst I wasn't using anything to silent or sedate my raw emotions; I was left with my own garbage to clean up. Instead of repressing or suppressing my feelings which had been a life long practice & pattern. I decided to face my anger head on & give it a voice. I found an isolated place & I screamed until I felt the full brunt of my anger & I was spent. I sat & became very still & found peace. Later I used that experience as a motivator. It showed me how anger grows and feeds on itself. It allowed me to understand how undisciplined, destructive and under resourced one is in that state, no matter how learned or skillful. I learned to read, feel and settle emotions or feelings without seeking an external target. It was a great moment in a growth spurt of awareness. It was a great moment or a growth spurt in awareness. I am a work in progress & I face the my world & the world & I continue to grow.
—Guest Margot-deepa

wish somebody helps

I seem to fall in love with the wrong guy . Economically he depends 100% on me . Sometimes I almost belive that he loves me . But I don't trust him at all , caught him lying a thousand times ,but he has this way of explaining that makes you end up being the bad one . Like today since morning his phone rings but he doesn't answer it . Trust me he will come with a nice excuse . Since I met him ,my life has become a mess and I am angry with him for most of the time . Suddenly I have started to feel old ,tired , gained a lot weight . with yoga and meditation for about one week ,I managed to lose weight , became quite energetic and full of life and then went back to him and stopped everything and back to depression . I have many friends but I just felt like maybe somebody will help me with this emotional turbulence I am passing through . I just need rest and peace . I am a good person and this really hurts
—Guest Jean Oscar

anger

anger is an ephemeral emotion--just like other emotions. practicing mindfulness of ephemera can result in the wisdom to know that your anger, without your ego, is not possible. since ego and anger are both constructs; the dharma acts as a deconstructor. Wonderful!
—Guest don

Anger?

The Buddha has the capacity for anger as well as all the other worlds. Anger itself is neither good nor bad: Anger can give you the power to confont evil. The problem with anger, like all problems, is attachment. Anger is part of being human, so the only way you could get rid of it is by denying your humanity, which is the only Sin in Buddhism (IMHO). Embrace your anger, understand it, and use it to further your enlightenment. That is the Buddha way. Please understand: True Enlightenment comes from embracing your humanity, not denying it.
—Guest JoeBuddha

Anger and Buddhism

"It’s important to understand that anger is something created by yourself. It didn’t come swooping out of the ether to infect you. We tend to think that anger is caused by something outside ourselves, such as other people or frustrating events" Great article and I agree with the above, anger is something of the mind, yes, however I think it is not entirely caused by the mind, it has to be influenced by internal(thoughts,breath, heart rate) and external(relative,traffic,kids) casual relationships.
—Guest Abimael

death and anger toward person

my son's girfriend will not give our family some o f my son's ashes he just died
—Guest yolanda smith

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